Wine, Women & Song (1)
Question: Someone mentioned to me that it is assur to drink wine and listen to music at the same time-even at home with my wife-as it might lead to frivolity and/or inappropriate behavior. Is this the case? If so, where might I look it up?
Answer:
It is a temporary issur-until the Beis Hamikdash is rebuilt. See O.C. 560:3. The Ramo prohibits music (even singing) when one is sitting down to drink wine zecher lechurban Beis Hamikdash. Shaar Hatziun (23) discusses whether this applies when one is eating and drinking or only when one is sitting down to drink wine and not eat. It seems from the Shaar Hatziun that it is best to refrain from music during a meal in which wine will be an important part. (The Ramo adds that when the music is done for the sake of a mitzva such as adding joy to a wedding everything is permitted. That is why Shabbos meals often have singing in them.)
The Rema's is the lenient opinion. The Mechaber prohibits music all year round zecher lechurban.
At the end of the same siman, the Mechaber says one cannot laugh a full and hearty laugh anymore after the churban. The Ramo seems to agree.
BookID: 1 Chapter: 560